Stuff Megan Does not Like

This week, I decided to stir things up on my blog. Instead of mentioning something I enjoy, I thought it would be fun to write entirely about something I do not enjoy. So here it goes.

Dolphins.

bottlenose_dolphin
I know, you are probably wondering how it is that anyone could dislike dolphins. “But dolphins are so magical,” you may be saying to yourself. I disagree.

dolphin

Dolphins are scary sea creatures – maybe even the scariest sea creature of them all. And that’s including sharks and those giant squids, with eyes the size of dinner plates, that occasionally wash up onto the shore. Thinking about their sharp little teeth and their permanent, condescending smiles, I am relieved that the domain of the dolphin is limited to saltwater.

dolphins

Now, do not get me wrong. I am not saying that dolphins are evil, but I am heavily implying it.

I was once forced to swim with dolphins while on a vacation in Mexico. Not only did I get water up my nose when the dolphins pushed me around their enclosure, but I also developed impressive bruises on my shins from where one of the dolphins hit me with its tail. I do not have any proof to back this up, but I am 93% sure that it was intentional. To make matters worse, this whole traumatic experience was videotaped and put to inspirational music so that I could relive the nightmare again and again from the comfort of my own home.

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10 Responses to “Stuff Megan Does not Like”


  1. 1 nancyamills March 8, 2009 at 8:06 pm

    Dolphins? Really?
    Okay, so your story about the dolphins being too rough with you in the tank does sound a bit traumatizing. I guess I can accept that story.

    Might I recommend that you do not accept any jobs at SeaWorld or Marineland in the PR function.

  2. 2 Dana D March 11, 2009 at 10:28 pm

    I watched a television show once on Animal Planet about dolphins and I saw a group of dolphins drown another species of dolphins baby because they thought it was fun.
    I don’t know if that frieghtens me because it is aggressive, or because it is almost human like.

  3. 3 GosiaGoodness March 12, 2009 at 9:28 am

    That was a great video. You looked so excited, and then quickly disgusted. I can see your point of view.

    Dolphins, cute as they may be, do have a bit of an evil appeal. They are giant wild beings. Who knows when they can attack. If I was kept in an enclosure and made to perform tricks, often without even a mate to make my life more enjoyable, I would blow up and lash out, eventually.

    Gosia

  4. 4 shannond86 March 12, 2009 at 10:38 am

    I feel quite guilty. Your traumatizing experience caught on camera made me laugh a little bit. The combination of the carribean music in the background and the disgusted look on your face made for a very entertaining clip. I apologize.

    I can understand your fear. Just wondering what the dolphins are thinking, and going to do next. They are sly creatures it seems. The other day I saw a news story on an albino dolphin. It was pink. The pink factor might freak you out more. I hope you do not have to live through dolphin kisses ever again.

  5. 5 bradysbiz March 12, 2009 at 1:35 pm

    OMG! I just laughed out loud..that video is great! I appreciate the disgust on your face..the dolphin seemed a little too aggressive with its kisses. I just have one question..have you watched The Simpsons episode where the dolphins are evil?..I think your view point is shared.

  6. 6 crowntree March 16, 2009 at 9:52 pm

    Oh Megan, that video was priceless. They dolphin must have really liked you. Although I do not hate dolphins or think they are evil, I am slightly annoyed by them. When I went to Mexico we did a day trip to Xel-Ha and you could swim with dolphins for X amount. So yeah, we stopped and watched people swim with them, but then we stayed for like 10 minutes, and came back later, and back later again. I mean common, how exciting is it to watch trained dolphins and tourists? Once was enough for me.

  7. 7 TaylorMadebySean March 20, 2009 at 11:26 am

    Ha Ha Ha Megan, now I am not laughing at your pain. I worked with dolphins a (expetive) Marineland a few years ago and can agree that they are not as innocent and cute as they seem. No I hope that this doesn scare you more but . . . (and unfortunately this is a true fact) that dolphins are only using half of their brain at any given time. . . .apparently while one half is awake the other is sleeping. So can you just imagine if they were ever fully awake. . . . that Simpsons episode might not be as far fetched. . . and no more pink dolphins before bed . . . . Sleep Soundly. . . lol. . .

  8. 8 Supermom March 20, 2009 at 12:54 pm

    I love your video… so funny! Especially the end with your grimace. It is the first time I laugh while reading a blog! Thanks 🙂

  9. 9 kaitlinb23 March 20, 2009 at 5:32 pm

    I think I like dolphins. I’m not sure yet. I havn’t really met one. They do worry me though. I heard they are extremly smart. This could cause some problems. There are albino dolphins too. They are actually pink. Google the picture. It is wild.

  10. 10 laurenlm March 20, 2009 at 10:23 pm

    Great video…too funny. I also swam with dolphins in Mexico, I think it may have been at the same place…that dolphin does looks familiar. I can’t imagine that dolphin intentionally hitting you with its tail, it sure seemed to like you in that video!


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