Stuff Megan Does Not Like (Part Two)




Let me tell you something about running: I am not good at it.

I may be one of the slowest runners alive. Actually, I would even go so far as to say that what I do does not really even qualify as running. It is pretty much walking, except I move my arms in a more exaggerated manner and get a lot more sweaty. 

Even though I despise running, for the last five weeks I have risen at 6 a.m. each Saturday morning to begin preparing for my running group. Running group does not actually begin until 7:30 a.m., but I have to brush my teeth, dress, eat breakfast and drive to my running partner’s house by 7:00 a.m. in order to arrive on time at the community centre the running group meets at.

Once we arrive at the community centre, I spend approximately five minutes lamenting to my running partner about my disdain for running. Usually, before five minutes have elapsed, we have started our morning run, and I am forced to make a choice between talking and breathing. 

Because I am not a runner, I am unable to complete our entire run without taking a couple of walking breaks. I have adopted a three minute run to one minute walk approach that gives my lungs a brief break. My running partner likes to run without these breaks. “When I stop,” she said one morning, “my legs start to feel heavy, like wood.” This is when I mocked her over her choice of words. Wood? Really? Not lead? Because most people probably would have used lead as a comparison. “You know how heavy wood is when it has been in water for a while?” I did not know, and our friendship has suffered ever since. 

I do sometimes worry that we will come to loathe one another because of these early morning runs. I hate running. She hates running. It only makes sense that, through classical conditioning, we will learn to associate one another with running and eventually hate each other. Actually, I am not worried as far as I am concerned. I have a winning smile and a sparkling personality. It is nearly impossible to dislike me.


1 Response to “Stuff Megan Does Not Like (Part Two)”

  1. 1 Brandean September 1, 2009 at 6:13 pm

    Ha ha ha ” I did not know, and our friendship has suffered ever since. ” You are a hoot. Your blog is so fun to read I’ve gone through all posts in a seating.

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